wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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