i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We talked him into tasing himself.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
