dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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