Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
