You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
