The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
