apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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