im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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