Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize