remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
