Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
