And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
