Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
