i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Welp...herpes.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize