rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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