The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
