I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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