And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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