Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
