She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
