Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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