I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
