I hate all girls vehemently.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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