he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize