My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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