I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
