That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
