things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
