then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
