Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
