I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
