R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
