I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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