I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize