i would punch a child for taco bell
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
