found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Randomize
