can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Im part way to drunk.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
