no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
