I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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