i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
