Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
