I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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