Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
