is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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