we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
