it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
