It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
