did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
