took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize