My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
