Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize