the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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