Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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