4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
