she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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