I hope mine doesn't look like that
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
