dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
