Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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