you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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